Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he shaved USA in his pubs
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
