I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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