Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
