i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Why did my mother make you get naked?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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