I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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