dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
