Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
