We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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