Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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