You're my little dorito
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
