I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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