Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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