Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

my head looks like a cockatoo

(1-305): View more from Florida

mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom

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(425): View more from Washington

my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha

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(936): View more from Texas

he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.

(812): View more from Indiana

and...?

(936): View more from Texas

I told him it was alright.

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(404): View more from Georgia

The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"

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(619): View more from California

Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.

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(240): View more from Maryland

I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990

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