I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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