we made out on top of his cat.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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