seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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