ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
