just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
