ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize