Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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