Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
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I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
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I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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