I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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