So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
