I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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