cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
