Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
