I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
smell my finger.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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