How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize