Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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