Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
