dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
