You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
