Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
