I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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