I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
