Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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