Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
