We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
