I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
