Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
