Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My balls are so social today.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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