I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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