i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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