You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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