I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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