Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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