I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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