Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
