can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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