Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
