So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
