8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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