Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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