I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
