I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
