Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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