he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
