My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
