Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
