p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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