she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
