Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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