Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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