She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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