she smelled like a LAN party
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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