halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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