My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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