that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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